Y goes crazy

OK, so there we are in the fine city of Portland, Oregon, listening to a dvar torah at seudah shlishit, and the kollel rabbi is giving a dvar torah about free love, and Y screams out, "I wholeheartedly agree!" OK, that's not exactly how it happened. Let's try again.

There we are in Portland, Oregon, davening, and all of a sudden Y rips off his black suit jacket and hat, revealing a tie-dyed T-shirt and bandanna around his head.

Shoot, nope, off track.

There we are in Portland, Oregon, and the rabbi is giving a dvar torah about peace, and Y says, "Make love, not war." He is very quick to point out, of course, that this is not a Jewish value.

Instead, Y has developed a brilliant Torah insight: What happened in Pinchas? Essentially, they were making love, and he killed them, and then he brought peace. Therefore, we can see from here that "make love, not war" is exactly counter to Jewish values.

This type of Torah insight, brought to you from the ex-hippie town of Chickenstock, has given rise to Y's nickname of "Shomer Negiah Y."

This is what I have to say about Y's religious opinions: (the rest of this paragraph has been edited due to inappropriate content. Also due to excessive frustration. Just kidding. I'm the most supportive girlfriend.)

In other brilliant ideas brought to you by Y, he is going to start a fashion show of all two year old boys who have not yet had their hair cut. We are seeking expert judges, that is, people with previous experience in judging cross-dressing Orthodox Jewish two year olds. Anyone and everyone is encouraged to apply.

And seeing as I'm the one typing all this, I will include one of my own brilliant one-liners: Whatever sinks your ship. (Huh? What in the world does that mean??)

Editorial note: Ok, this is the last time I let Y see a post before I publish it. As he says, there's no reason why the rest of the world can't see it before he does. Also then I don't have to deal with his annoying comments. Also who wants to deal with annoying Y?